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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29568168">Can’t Pretend</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/anenemyanenome/pseuds/anenemyanenome'>anenemyanenome</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>9-1-1 prompts [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Christopher Diaz is a National Treasure, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Humor, Love Confessions, M/M, Post 4x05 but not spoilery, but he asks really tough questions</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 22:28:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,181</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29568168</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/anenemyanenome/pseuds/anenemyanenome</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Christopher overhears something he shouldn’t have  at a party and Buck nearly chokes to death when the kid decides to ask him about it</p><p>Or, Chim and Hen’s gossiping somehow leads to the boys getting together</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>9-1-1 prompts [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2050092</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>83</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1168</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hi i’m back</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s nearing ten p.m. on a Saturday night and Chris is sitting with his eyes closed on one of the couches at Harry’s house. He’s waiting for his dad to finish saying his goodbyes so they can leave the party. He had a lot of fun playing with Harry and Dennis earlier, but he's really tired now.  </p><p>By this point in this life, he has already gotten used to the fact that he gets tired a lot faster than his friends. Usually, a little break is enough to restore his energy but sometimes his body just can’t take it anymore. His arms and legs turn to lead, aching in a way that he can’t ignore and his eyes start to droop with exhaustion. </p><p>This is one of those times. If dad doesn’t come back soon, he’s going to fall asleep on this couch.</p><p>He feels a hand run softly through his hair and it’s enough to wake him up a little bit.  He doesn’t open his eyes to check who it is but soon finds he doesn’t need to as the person opens their mouth to speak. </p><p>“I think Chris is down for the count.” Denny’s mom, Hen, comments. </p><p>He hears Chimney chuckle in response and then the couch shifts slightly like someone just leaned their weight against it. “Where’s Eddie?”</p><p>Hen hums and Chris figures they’re looking around trying to spot his dad. He hears them both snort and assumes they found him. “There he is.”</p><p>“God, do they know they don’t need to be touching all the time?” Chimney asks.</p><p>Hen snickers. “Try telling either of them that.”</p><p>“Do you think Eddie knows?” </p><p>Chris frowns slightly. <em>Knows what?</em></p><p>“He has to.” Hen says. “Right?”</p><p>“I don’t know.”</p><p>“He has to.” Hen repeats. “Buck is so in love with him, I don’t think there’s anybody who can spend five seconds with them and not know.”</p><p>
  <em>What?</em>
</p><p>Chris’ heart starts beating really fast in his chest. Buck is in love with dad?? Why didn’t Buck tell him? He told Chris they didn’t have any secrets. </p><p>“Do you think he loves him back?”</p><p>There’s a brief silence that feels like an eternity to Chris. </p><p>After a while, Hen finally replies. “Hard to tell.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“He’s really hard to read. I mean, it’s obvious he loves Buck, but I’m not sure it’s in that way.”</p><p>“Yeah, same.” Chimney agrees. “I don’t know how Buck says he can always tell what Eddie’s feeling, that man is <em>not</em> an open book.”</p><p>Hen lets out a considering sound. “Full honesty? I wonder if it’s not internalized homophobia...” </p><p>Intern- Chris isn’t sure what that means. Do they think dad is homophobic? He’s not. He’s had the talk with Chris and he made it really clear that homophobia is bad. Chris wonders if he should interrupt and defend his dad.</p><p>“You think so?” Chimney asks.</p><p>“Well, he’s not outwardly homophobic.. I’ve never gotten that vibe from him, but with his past, I don’t know.”</p><p>“It can’t have been easy in the army, if that’s the case.” Chimney says. “Do you think he’s in love with Buck but repressing it?”</p><p>“I wouldn’t be surprised.”</p><p>“That’s really sad.”</p><p>“We don’t even know if it’s true.” Hen reminds him.</p><p>“I know, but Buck’s had his heart broken so many times.” Chimney explains. “I just want to see him happy for once...”</p><p>“True.” Hen concedes. “God, I hope Eddie doesn’t break his heart.”</p><p>Chimney sighs. “Me too.”</p><p>“Hen, where’s Denny?” Denny’s other mom’s voice suddenly sounds from the other side of the room. He hears Hen get up, probably to go look for Denny, and then Chimney leaves too.</p><p>It’s not long after that that his dad returns. He feels a hand on his cheek and opens his eyes to see dad crouching in front of him. “Ready to go, kid?”</p><p>Chris nods and wraps his arms around dad’s shoulders, letting him pick him up. He’s tired, sore and now a little sad. He doesn’t want dad to break Buck’s heart either.</p><p>
  <br/>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
</p><p>Eddie is out running some errands and asked Buck to watch Chris for a couple of hours. Buck hasn’t had many chances to spend time with Chris the last couple of weeks, so he readily agrees. </p><p>Chris is still obsessed with the same video game so that’s what they’ve been doing for the past hour. After Chris beats him for the millionth time that day, Buck begs him for a break. </p><p>“You’re cheating, you have to be!”</p><p>Christopher giggles. “No, Buck!”</p><p>“You can’t be this good, no nine year old is this good!”</p><p>“I am!”</p><p>Buck smiles warmly at him. Chris has been subdued all morning so it’s good to see him smiling and laughing like this. </p><p>“Okay, at least let me go to the bathroom. You’re killing me here, kid.”</p><p>Chris sighs dramatically, like Buck is asking him for a big favor. “Fine.”</p><p>He rolls his eyes with a huff and heads to the bathroom. </p><p>He’s on his way back when he notices Chris is looking gloomy again. He sits down on the couch next to him. Maybe he can get him to open up about what’s gotten him down all day. </p><p>“Hey, Chris, you okay?”</p><p>Chris looks down at his hands before glancing up at him and asking something that nearly causes him to swallow his own tongue. </p><p>“Are you in love with dad?”</p><p>He sucks in a quick breath in shock and promptly chokes as saliva is aspirated into his lungs. He coughs, thumping his chest trying to get rid of the awful sensation and gasps loudly after a minute when he finally feels like he can breathe again. </p><p>His voice comes out hoarse. “What?”</p><p>“Do you love dad?”</p><p>Buck exhales slowly. What the hell is happening? </p><p>He doesn’t want to lie to Chris, but he also really, <em>really </em>doesn’t want to tell him the truth. </p><p>He goes with a half-truth and hopes it’s enough to satisfy Chris. </p><p>“Of- of course I love him, buddy. He’s my best friend, you know this.”</p><p>Christopher blows out a impatient breath through his nose. “Yeah, but are you <em>in </em>love with him?” </p><p>Okay, that didn’t work. Buck scratches his chin  and tries to deflect again. “Why are you asking me this, Chris?” </p><p>“It doesn’t matter.” Chris says. </p><p>Buck claps his hands together, hoping that’s the end of that, and gets up. “Okay, then let’s get some pizza, hm? It’s almost lunch time!” </p><p>Chris throws his head back with a groan. “Buuuck.”</p><p>“What?” </p><p>“Tell mee.” </p><p>Buck sighs and rubs his face. He’s not getting out of this one. He feels Chris clumsily pull on the leg of his pants and looks down. </p><p>Chris is looking up at him with the sweetest expression. “Do you love dad, Bucky?”</p><p>Buck feels his heart shatter into a million pieces and sighs in defeat as he sits back down. He’s helpless against Chris’ puppy eyes. Chris immediately scoots closer to him so he pulls him to his chest and briefly rests his chin on the top of his head as he hugs him. </p><p>“Yes, Chris. I do.” He admits as he pulls back. </p><p>Chris eyes widen and he starts giggling softly, arms flailing and hitting Buck accidentally in his excitement. “Yeah?”</p><p>“Yeah, kid.” He grabs Chris’ closest hand. “But you can’t tell him, okay? You can’t tell your dad about this, this has to be our secret.”</p><p>Chris immediately loses his smile. “Why?”</p><p>“Because.”</p><p>“That’s not an answer.” Chris replies, and it’s so automatic, so obviously something Eddie has told him a thousand times, that Buck can’t help the way his lips curve in a soft smile. </p><p>“Because he doesn’t know and he doesn’t feel the same way.” He squeezes Chris hand. “And then he would be sad because he’d think I’m sad, and we don’t want him to be sad, right?”</p><p>Chris’ little face wrinkles into a frown. “Dad says it’s important to tell other people you love them.” He looks up at Buck. “He says people always like to know you love them, it’s never bad to tell them.”</p><p>“And your dad is right, okay? When you love someone you should always tell them so they know. So they feel loved.” Buck reassures him. “It’s just- this is different, buddy. It’s grown-up stuff.”</p><p>Chris pouts. “That’s just what grown-ups say when they don’t want to explain.”</p><p>Buck sighs. “Look honey, it’s not that I don’t want to explain, this is just a very complicated situation.”</p><p>Chris shuffles closer to him again and Buck brings an arm around his shoulder in something akin to a hug. Chris leans his weight against his side and asks quietly “Why?”</p><p>“Because-“ Buck leans back on the couch bringing Chris with him. “Okay, do you have any classmate that you like?”</p><p>“No.” Chris says. “But I did in my last school.”</p><p>Buck never heard about this before. He resists the urge to tease him about it, focusing instead on making his point. </p><p>“Okay, what happened?”</p><p>“I changed schools.” Chris says matter-of-factly making Buck snort at his tone. </p><p>He squeezes Chris shoulder. “Did you tell them how you felt before you left?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Okay, so imagine that you did and they didn’t feel the same way. They didn’t like you back. Would you be sad?”</p><p>“...yes.” </p><p>Buck nods even though Chris can’t see him from his position. “Okay. Now imagine it the other way around. Someone likes you but you don’t like them back. And the other person is sad because you don’t like them. How does that make you feel?” </p><p>“Sad.” Chris admits. “I don’t like making people sad.”</p><p>“There you go. Your daddy would be sad and I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to make him sad.” </p><p>When Eddie asked him to watch Chris he had no way to predict he would end up here, flaying his heart open trying to convince Chris to keep a secret from his dad when a secret was what almost destroyed him not even a month ago. </p><p>It’s his own fault, he could’ve lied to Chris. Damn it, he thinks guiltily. He should’ve lied to Chris. It’s way worse to ask him to keep a secret than it is to lie and say he’s not in love with Eddie. He just messed up big time. </p><p>Chris brings him out of his thoughts with a fragile voice. “But that means you’re sad.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“If Lisa didn’t like me I would be sad. You’re sad.” </p><p>Buck sucks in a breath. “I-“</p><p>Chris shuffles back and shifts until he’s on his knees. Buck reaches for him afraid he might lose his balance. With watery eyes, Chris cups his cheek, similarly to the day of the tsunami. </p><p>“You’re sad.” He insists, his voice breaking when he continues. “Because dad broke your heart.”</p><p>Buck has no idea why Chris phrases it like that, but he looks like he’s on the verge of tears - Buck needs to change the subject and he needs to do it now. </p><p>He puts his hand over Chris’ and looks him in the eye, willing him to believe him. “I’m never sad when you’re around, okay? You make me more happy than anything else could make me sad.”</p><p>Chris sniffs loudly. “I do?”</p><p>“Yes!” Buck squeezes his hand reassuringly then gives him a cheeky grin. “Now, are you going to let me kick your butt one more time before we have lunch?” </p><p>“Buck!!! No!! You never win!” </p><p>“What?! How dare you, I’m the world champion of this game!” </p><p>Chris laughs at him and picks up the controller looking determined, the matter seemingly forgotten for now. </p><p>Buck takes a deep breath. </p><p>God, he desperately hopes this doesn’t come back to bite him in the ass.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next chapter is from Eddie’s pov</p><p>Lmk if there’s any tags I should add or if you spot any mistakes ❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry it took me so long, hope you like it :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eddie clutches the phone in his hand and tries to figure out how his life has come to this. He taps his forehead with it a couple of times in frustration, trying to make a decision. He’s debating whether to cave to his son, yet again, out of sheer desperation, or stand his ground in their ongoing battle. </p><p>Chris has been impossible lately. It’s not like things haven’t been hard before, he’s well acquainted with his son’s tantrums, but this is a whole new level. Maybe because it came out of nowhere. </p><p>Tia Pepa told him that it’s puberty rearing its ugly head. Eddie distressingly reminded her that Chris isn’t even a pre-teen yet. </p><p>He doesn’t know what is going on, but if this is any indicator of how Chris’ teenage years are going to be, he’s not looking forward to the next ten years of his life. <i>God</i>. He’s going to lose it if nothing changes in the near future. </p><p>It felt like Chris woke up one day and decided he no longer liked Eddie and started acting out. He’s been rude and difficult over the simplest things and Eddie doesn’t understand what he did wrong.</p><p>As far as he can tell, it started when Buck had to cancel on them in order to help Maddie with something baby related. For some reason, Chris didn’t believe Eddie when he told him about the change of plans. He demanded that Eddie call Buck so Chris could ask him directly. When Eddie told him that he was not going to bother Buck with something like that, he was presented with a tantrum unlike anything he had seen in a while. </p><p>To this day, Eddie still doesn’t understand why Chris thought he was lying. </p><p>(He gave in and called Buck that day. Buck answered on the third ring, seeming happy to talk to Chris, which just worked to make him feel stupid about the whole thing.)</p><p>After that, it just became their new normal. Every time Eddie told him to do something, Chris would talk back at him or sulk in his room, mad at Eddie for god knows what.</p><p>Eddie can’t figure the pattern of what sets him off. </p><p>At first, he wondered if the New Normal wasn’t precisely the problem, but quickly disregarded that theory. Chris seemed to like the virtual classes, even if he missed his friends, and his problem is definitely with Eddie specifically. </p><p>Whenever Buck is around, over video call or in person, Chris turns back into the sweet kid Eddie has always known him to be. It seems like Buck’s presence alone is enough to soothe the little angry monster currently residing inside his son.</p><p>He’s lost count of how many hours of sleep have been lost to the gnawing worry that his parents were right after all and he’s not what Chris needs. It’s the way he’s wired, he can’t shut his brain off, much less stop the guilt and self-doubt that keep creeping in.</p><p>Logically, he knows that kids act differently with their parents than they do with people they’re trying to impress, but he can’t deny that it hurts when all Buck has to do is smile and Chris is back to his charming self. </p><p>Today’s problem is PT. Chris doesn’t want to go, insisting he hates it and that he wants to go hang out with Buck instead. </p><p>Eddie told him they couldn’t hang out with Buck <em>every </em>day, which unsurprisingly, didn’t go over very well. </p><p>Frustrated, Eddie asked him if he would agree to put on his shoes and go, if Buck came with them to PT. He tried not to take it personally when Chris’ eyes lighted up in an obvious way at the mention of Buck’s name. </p><p>Almost at the end of his rope, Eddie had left a barefoot Chris in his room and gone searching for his phone. </p><p>Now, as he stares at Buck’s contact information, he tries not to let the feeling of failure overwhelm him. Everybody keeps reassuring him he’s a good father, that kids are like this sometimes, but he can’t help feeling like they’re not being fully honest with him.</p><p>Resigned, he sighs and presses the call button, biting his thumb nail anxiously as he waits for Buck to pick up. </p><p>“Hello?” </p><p>He breathes out in relief at the sound of Buck’s voice. “Hi.”</p><p>“Eddie, what’s up?”</p><p>“I need to ask you a favor.”</p><p>“Yeah, of course. Whatever you need.”</p><p>Eddie chuckles. “You don’t even know what I’m gonna ask.”</p><p>He can almost <em>hear </em>the eye roll. “Just tell me what you want, asshole.”</p><p>Ok, yeah. Time to get serious. “Are you doing anything right now or the next couple of hours?”</p><p>“Uh.. does watching TV and working out count?”</p><p>“No.” Eddie says. “I mean, yes, but can you come over and help me with Chris anyway?”</p><p>Buck’s voice turns serious. “Is everything okay?”</p><p>“It’s not like that.” He reassures. “It’s just- it’s been a difficult day. I could really use some help right now, I know I’m always asking you for favors lately but I-“</p><p>“Hey, Eddie.” Buck interrupts. “Of course I’ll help, man. What do you need? Just coming over?”</p><p>Eddie sighs in relief. “And coming with us to PT? He’s refusing to go unless you come too.”</p><p>“Aright.” There’s a rustling sound like Buck is putting on his jacket and then the distinct clink of keys being picked up. “I’ll be right there.”</p><p>“Buck..” </p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Nothing, just... Thank you.”</p><p>“Anytime, man.”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Later when they’re back home and Chris is brushing his teeth, Eddie drops to the couch feeling exhausted. </p><p>“Here.” He opens his eyes to see Buck holding a beer out to him. “You look like you need a drink.”</p><p>“Yup.” He grabs the beer and twists the cap off as Buck sits next to him. </p><p>“Are you any closer to figuring out what the issue is?”</p><p>“No.” Eddie admits gruffly. “I think it’s getting worse, actually. And he won’t tell me what’s going on. I’ve asked. Repeatedly.”</p><p>He takes a sip of his beer and then looks at Buck with a playful smirk. “Maybe he’s finally reached the ‘I don’t have to do what you say’ phase, huh?”</p><p>Buck chuckles, clearly remembering their conversation from what feels like ages ago. “Then I guess I should be the one to talk to him.”</p><p>Eddie laughs and rubs his eyes. “Fuck, if you can figure out what’s going on with him I’m gonna ask you to move in. You’re never leaving this house.”</p><p>Buck punches him playfully in the shoulder but gets up to go talk to Chris. “You’re gonna regret those words. I’m gonna take over your room and you’re gonna be sleeping on the couch.”</p><p>“I have a guest room, I don’t need to sleep on the couch.”</p><p>Buck looks down at him with a quirked eyebrow. “So you’re okay with me stealing your bed?” </p><p>Eddie rolls his eyes. “Shut up and go talk to him.” He smirks up at him. “As one child to another.”</p><p>Buck gives him the finger and heads to Christopher’s room. </p><p>Fuck, if Buck really manages to find out what’s going on with Chris, he’s not going to let him leave. He’s well past the point of dignity and pride. He’s not above begging. </p><p>He takes off his shoes and leans back against the back of the couch, bringing his beer up to his mouth. He can hear the muffled sounds of their conversation but can’t make out any words. </p><p>He trusts Buck wholeheartedly, so he lets himself relax for the first time since the beginning of the day. He’s been so wound up lately that his body is just one big knot of tension.</p><p>A little while later, a noise startles him from his thoughts and he turns around to see Buck coming back to the living room. He’s silent as he sits on couch and he’s silent as he picks up his own beer and leans back in his seat. </p><p>Eddie looks at him expectantly. “So?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>Eddie frowns. “Yeah, what? Did he tell you what’s wrong?”</p><p>Buck nods. “Hm, well.. yes.” </p><p>Eddie feels like he missed something. “Why are you being weird?”</p><p>Buck turns to him with wide eyes. “I’m not! It’s just-“ he looks away with a guilty expression. “This is all my fault.” </p><p>“What?”</p><p>Bucks starts fidgeting with the bottle in his hands. “The way he’s been acting. It’s because of something I said a while back. I honestly didn’t even consider he could take it like that but of course he did, he’s such a good kid.” </p><p>Buck brings a hand up to scratch his eyebrow and looks at Eddie sheepishly. “But he’s uh- he’s good now.” </p><p>Eddie looks at him for a second then takes a sip of his beer, feeling a little lost. It never even occurred to him that it could’ve been something <em>Buck</em> did and not him. He must make some kind of noise because Buck winces. “Damn it, I’m sorry.”</p><p>Eddie looks back at him. Buck’s shoulders are hunched up like he expects Eddie to yell at him.</p><p>“I’m so sorry, man. He’s been driving you crazy for weeks and it’s all my fault. Fuck, I should go.”</p><p>That gets Eddie to move and he grabs Buck’s arm to pull him back down. “What? Buck, no, sit down.”</p><p>Buck does and Eddie tries to think of where to start. </p><p>“What did you tell him?”</p><p>Buck breathes out harshly. “I don’t wanna say.”</p><p>Yeah that’s not an option.</p><p>“Buck.” he warns. </p><p>“Ah, dude.” Buck hides his face in his hands. “It’s not, it’s nothing serious. It’s just embarrassing for me.”</p><p>Eddie clears his throat to make Buck look at him and leans back on the couch. He raises his eyebrows. <em>Out with it. </em></p><p>Buck glances away and blushes. </p><p>“Okay, so a couple of weeks ago Chris asked me a couple of hard questions.. I ended up telling him that I could never be sad if he was there, that he makes everything better and he makes me so happy that it beats any sadness I could feel and he-“ he looks down with something like pride shinning in his eyes. “He took that to mean that he had to be around me at all times to make sure I wasn’t sad.”</p><p>Eddie is genuinely speechless. What?</p><p>“I uh- I told him that when I said that, I meant all the time, even when he wasn’t there. That him being there was just a bonus and I think he believed me, so you should be good now.”</p><p>He’s still obviously nervous, like he expects Eddie to be mad at him and Eddie doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do with these two. </p><p>He loves his son so much and the pride he feels in him eclipses any remaining annoyance over him being a little shit these past few weeks. And he loves how much Buck loves his son. He knows without a shadow of a doubt that Buck meant the words he said to Chris and that, that is what makes it so hard sometimes. Because sometimes he feels like he could cross a line with Buck, and it’s always moments like this that almost tip him over the edge. </p><p>“Are you mad at me?”</p><p>He looks up at Buck and sighs at the obvious anguish in his face. He wears his emotions so openly. </p><p>“No, Buck. I’m not mad at you. It’s just, you’re both so alike and the <em>exact</em> same kind of idiot that sometimes I wonder if he’s not more your son than mine.”</p><p>Buck stares at him, eyes and mouth open wide in shock. “What??”</p><p>“You’re both idiots. Like, I love you both, but you are. You’re so self-sacrificing and you love so openly and readily, I don’t know if I should hug you or just knock your heads together.”</p><p>Buck repeats himself but he’s half laughing now. “What??”</p><p>Chuckling, Eddie rubs his mouth when he feels a huge smile forming. “I can’t believe three weeks of tantrums and drama were about this. You deserve each other.”</p><p>Bucks scoffs. “I’m.. sorry?”</p><p>Eddie rolls his eyes and gets up to put the empty bottles of beer in the kitchen. “Don’t be.”</p><p>Buck’s laughter follows him to the kitchen and he can’t help the soft smile on his face. He should’ve expected something like this. He still has to have a talk with Chris, because even though it’s all very sweet, he also made their lives a living hell when there was absolutely no need for that. He wonders why Chris didn’t just tell him what he was thinking. Did he honestly think Eddie would object to spending more time with Buck?</p><p>He comes back and Buck is still smiling.  He sits back down on the couch after setting down the glasses of water he brought with him on the table. </p><p>Buck moves to grab one of the glasses and apologizes again. “For real, though.  I’m really sorry you had such a crappy time because of this.”</p><p>Eddie shakes his head and waves him off. “Don’t worry about it. I’m just glad everything’s okay now.”</p><p>“Yeah. I hope so.” </p><p>Eddie settles back in his seat and throws Buck a look. “So, are we gonna watch that movie or not?” </p><p>Buck startles and grabs the remote. “Oh. Yeah, I forgot.”</p><p>Buck puts on the movie they had agreed on earlier and they watch it in peace for a while. </p><p>An hour or so later, he can’t help himself. </p><p>“What did Christopher ask you?”</p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>“The hard question, what was it?”</p><p>Buck is silent for so long Eddie thinks he’s not going to get an answer. He guesses it’s about Buck’s parents. Eddie hadn’t said anything to Chris about the clusterfuck that was the Buckley parents’ recent visit, obviously, but Buck had needed a minute to get back up after that disaster. It was only normal that Chris picked up on it. </p><p>“Do I have to tell you?”</p><p>Eddie raises an eyebrow at the question. It’s not like they haven’t talked about it. “No.” he answers honestly. “But I would still like to know.”</p><p>Buck slouches down in his seat, letting his head rest against the back of the couch, eyes trained on the TV, and crosses his arms. “He asked me if I loved you.”</p><p>Eddie frowns. “Why would that make you sad?”</p><p>Buck is silent. </p><p>“Why would that make you sad, Buck? You’re family to us, you know this.”</p><p>Buck shakes his head. “He didn’t ask me if I loved you, plural, he asked me if I love you, singular.”</p><p>Eddie swallows. “So? You know I love you too, you’re my best friend.”</p><p>That gets Buck to look at him like he thinks Eddie is being deliberately obtuse. “Eddie.”</p><p>Eddie sucks in a sharp breath. Buck turns back to the TV but Eddie’s heart is making a valiant effort to escape out of his chest. Is he saying- he studies Buck’s profile, his throat suddenly dry. </p><p>Is he saying what Eddie thinks he is?</p><p>Eddie takes a while to find his voice again. </p><p>“What did you tell him.” It doesn’t sound like a question, but the words were so hard to get out, he’s surprised he even managed to say them at all. </p><p>Buck doesn’t look at him. “You know the answer to that.”</p><p>Does he? </p><p>He feels frozen, suspended in time. He doesn’t know what to do. This is both a dream come true and a nightmare because he has no idea what to say. He desperately wants to tell Buck that yes, he feels the same way, but fear is griping his throat and he can’t do anything except stare at the TV with wide eyes. </p><p>Not long after that, the movie ends. Buck grabs the glass of water on the table and takes it to the kitchen and Eddie just sits there watching him. </p><p>Eddie is still trying to find his words when Buck comes back and puts his jacket on before moving to the front door. “I’m heading home. See you tomorrow.”</p><p>Eddie finds himself nodding while his brain is screaming at him to do something. Anything. </p><p>But he can’t. He’s frozen. </p><p>The front door clicks shut behind Buck and Eddie lets out  the breath he was holding, feeling like he was holding it this whole time. </p><p>Wait- no! What? What the fuck is he doing? He gets up in a rush and runs out the door, no shoes and no jacket. </p><p>“Buck!”</p><p>Buck stops where he’s opening the door to his car and sighs. “Eddie, don’t.”</p><p>If Eddie can’t find the words, he’ll just have to show him. </p><p>He jogs across the final steps separating them and grabs Buck’s face, kissing him fiercely. </p><p>Buck stumbles backwards, his back hitting the Jeep and brings his hands to grab onto Eddie’s waist, pulling him with him as he loses his balance.</p><p>Eddie uses his body to push Buck against the car, desperate for Buck to understand what he’s trying to tell him, but is stopped when Buck uses a hand against his chest to push him back. </p><p>“What are you doing?”</p><p>Eddie feels like someone just dumped a bucket of cold water on him. Did he read this wrong? Oh fuck, he-</p><p>Buck must see the panic in his face because he grabs Eddie before he can get too far. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just-“ he squeezes Eddie’s arm where he’s holding him. “Why did you do that?”</p><p>“I-“ he still can’t get the words out, damn it. </p><p>Buck takes pity on him. “Do you have feelings for me?”</p><p>Eddie sighs in relief. “Yes.”</p><p>Buck nods. “Do you want to.. be with me? I don’t know how to phrase that.”</p><p>Eddie nods frantically and the corners of Buck’s mouth start turning up. “Yeah?”</p><p>Eddie bites his lip with a smile and confirms. “Yeah, Buck. Yes.”</p><p>Buck’s eyes look a little watery as he pulls him in for a tight hug. Eddie holds on to him, just as tight and not faring much better. His heart is loud in his ears as he pulls back to look Buck in the eye. “Sorry.”</p><p>Buck gives him an affectionate smile and moves his hand to cradle Eddie’s cheek in his palm. “Don’t be.” </p><p>Eddie snorts at having his own words repeated back to him and nuzzles into Buck’s hand. “I’m really glad you didn’t drive away.”</p><p>Buck shakes his head with a laugh. “I can’t believe you almost let me leave thinking I had just ruined our friendship.”</p><p>“Sorry.” He says again. “I think my brain stopped working, to be honest.” </p><p>Buck laughs. “Well, I’m glad it’s back online.”</p><p>Then he leans in and kisses Eddie, and it’s so natural, so soft and so sweet, that Eddie can’t help feeling stupid for almost letting him go. </p><p>He knocks his head against Buck’s. “I think I forgot my keys.” </p><p>Buck’s laughter echoes in the night air. </p><p>They end up having to ring the doorbell several times and hope Chris opens the door, Eddie starting to shake from the cold and Buck laughing next to him. </p>
<p>Chris takes a while but when he opens the door he looks very confused to see them on the other side.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>No angst this time, only happiness ❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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